Michael's No. 1 Dating Tips #1

This is one of my number one best dating tips! If you’ve been kissing a girl or boy and want to take it to the next level, put on some nice woolen socks and start shuffling on a nearby rug. Wait for your special someone to come home and give...

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Cinco de Michael

Michael’s Rising Manhood Michael’s manhood has almost finished rising! And we’d like all of you to be there to see it. Like being picked first for dodgeball, Like realizing your dad is only human, Like seeing the Falcons at the Superbowl, Like watching Titanic for the first time, turning 21...


Janie Does My Makeup

At this point I know so many makeup words since my girlfriend (the titular Janie) is really into it. Some of the words I recognize include: BB Cream Sponge Falsies Eye Shadow Blush Contour Blending If you’re thinking “Wow Michael that’s a lot!”, then you’d be right, it’s hard to...


Automatic Southwest Check In

Like all men I exist for and because of woman. You see where this is going? Southwest allows me cheap air fare but at the cost of remembering and sometimes waking up explicitly to check in online to get an early seat. Why is this important? The early bird gets...

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Improv Stories I

Janie and I often write the invitations for my friends’ house parties. In order to get in the creative mood, we write some improvised stories as an excercise. This is a collection of some of the better stories from that excercise. 1 Michael regains consciousness only to realize he is...

funny prose